The dice of Zeus always fall luckily. -Sophocles

It's been a week since I have been in the big city.  I have been able to transition to nights pretty easily. Turns out my insomnia kicks in pretty well around 3am and I'm good until about 5am when I get really sleepy and then come 715 I will be showered and in bed. Then I wake up at 3pm and do it all again.  I have seen some pretty crazy stuff since I've been here.  I've seen what a high heel can do to a persons face when it is used as a weapon. I have seen what a brick can do to a persons face too. I have watched someone die. I have watched a man try so hard for so long to breathe and a heart rate above 150 beats a minute for over 5 hours get intubated and watched their core temp just sink sink sink. And I got to see the dysfunction that happens when the critical care nurse that is going to take that poor soul prioritizes her morning coffee over the care of this individual because we need to transport this patient around 5 minutes before shift change.  Good to know that Nome isn't the only dysfunctional place around. Don't worry I still get see my fair share of drunks too.  Had a lovely come in high on spice and a BAC of 331.  Perfect combination for a person to be completely insane. And they were.  Found completely naked running around a neighborhood. And I got to see when three teenagers beat up an elderly person and put him in the ICU with a brain bleed from the impact of his fall.  What the hell is wrong with people?

Also this is what happens when you have a few cocktails and decide that trimming your tree with a chainsaw on top of a 10' ladder and the branch you cut down first hit you and knocks you off the ladder and you land on a chair.  Guess he was lucky enough to get away without anything but a broken femur.

I like driving a car again. It's also pretty nice going to Dairy Queen and getting an Oreo and Peanut butter cup blizzard.   Also it's a little weird having a glass of wine at 7am.  It's totally legit, but it seems weird.  Oh well. Everyone is entitled to a cocktail after a 12 hour shift. Done and done.

I have the next 4 days off before my next shift. Who knows where I will go and explore. But I will surely let you know.

Until next time lovelies!

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Salmon Lake

Monday my new roomie and one of the other ER nurses went on an epic 4-wheel ride out to a place called Salmon Lake.  It was a 35 mile ride north of Nome.  Majority of the ride was on a really well kept dirt road.  Here are some pictures of this awesome ride.  It didn't rain on us, but man it sure looked like it wanted to.  And that would have been a miserable 35 mile ride back home with the wind.... Thank you baby Jesus. And here are some pictures!

Clouds being chased away by the sun

The river that flows into Salmon Lake

I see all the fishies... I want to catch one! 

Hunting Salmon

Failure. But hey at least I gave it the old college
try. And we all know how good I am at college. 

Look at all these blueberries! They go for $25 a quart! and
they were EVERYWHERE out here

Just a beautiful ride. The way the clouds put shadows on the
hills and the mountains.. Love.

Came across these guys! REINDEER! EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

They must be on their way to find Santa

Small river crossing

Our tundra beasts! 

Grand total of 72 miles of riding that day.  My hips still kind of hurt! But we had so so so much fun.  I love being able to go and check out the surrounding areas.  I certainly did a little hunting for some good snow machining and skiing... this is going to be a fun winter :)

I am off to Anchorage tonight!

Until next time lovelies!!

I tried being reasonable, I didn't like it. - Clint Eastwood

My beloved Boulder

Top of Mt. Evans

This past week I surprised one my most bestest of friends on her birthday by showing up on her doorstep in Denver.  It was absolutely OUTSTANDING! I had a 13 hour layover in Anchorage so I could spend a little time with T, and then headed on the red-eye to Denver.  Danielle's fiance was in on the whole thing and picked me up bright and early and after I got to their house Danielle and I had some serious adventure time! We hit up Boulder, where I purchased my mandatory CU t-shirt (GO BUFFS! The goal this season is: win at least 1 game!), and Denver Broncos attire.  It's also where D realized, after our waitress pointed out to us after ordering birthday drinks, that her ID expired that day and that she needed a new ID that day... perfect.  Drunk and go to the DMV?  What could possibly go wrong?   Well we didn't make it to the DMV, but we did get it renewed online, in time, so the rest of our celebration weekend could commence without incident.  Way to go Colorado. Making it hard for a 31 year old to get a drink the day after they turn 31....  Anyways. D and I were going to go drive up Pikes Peak and play tourist in Colorado Springs and Garden of the Gods. We were so pumped to go! The next morning we wake up to the news that Manitou Springs (you have to drive through this to get to Pikes Peak) had basically washed away in a flash flood.... change of plans! Let's go to Mt. Evans! So we did. And we got to hike the last little bit in fresh

Fresh snow dusted on the top!

slushy snow... winter is coming :) I know.  I am a completely sick individual. A lot of my favorite Denver people all came to a bottomless mimosa brunch in Denver. I felt like I had never left.

14,258ft 

We had lovely afternoons by the pool, and went for a hike in the foothills a few minutes from D's house.  It was so nice to fall asleep to rolling thunder one night, and the sounds of crickets the other nights.  I miss those nights.  In Nome I just hear dirt bikes and kids playing basketball until like 4am....(another rant for another day).  Plus this is the view from my bedroom window... and they start work at exactly 650am.  UGH.

My beautiful view! Earth mover!

After 3 days with D we had a custody handoff and I stayed with my friend Lindy who lives pretty much at the Denver airport, and she dropped me off on her way to work.  I then landed in sunny and warm Seattle and got to see Bentley and some nursing school friends as I had a 20 hour layover there.  I was again reminded of how at home I feel in the city of Seattle.  Bittersweet for sure.  I was accosted by a homeless person and it was like I had never left.  Seattle you sure are different. And I like that.  But at the end of this tour of the places I have lived in the last 10 years I was ready to go Nome. Like really ready to go Nome.  Back to where life is slow and steady. Back to where shaving my legs is completely optional.... because why would I ever wear shorts or skirts here? It's not like it's necessarily... warm.

Red Rocks

I came back to 4 days straight of work (Thurs-Sun), and I leave for Anchorage for a month on Wednesday.  I will be going to nights (630p-7a).  Perhaps this will work better with my insomnia.  It's been a rough couple of nights sleeping, which leads to really rough 12 hour shifts. Plus I think I do my best sleeping between the hours of 7am and noon.

Old stomping grounds as seen from the big ferris wheel

One ironically placed photo

So I have now completed my 4 days in a row... rounded out the last day as more of a 14 hour shift.  The storm clouds descended upon Nome and EVERYONE came to the hospital... at around 5pm... pleasant.  Overdoses, falling off of ladders, chronic shortness of breath, drinking so much, so often that you throw up blood because your body has run out of ways to tell you.... stop drinking already, random abdominal pains, pink eye, and other such random crises that the people of this town have.  Silver lining? No sexual assaults!

Bentley loves this

I have really started thinking about home. Where it is? What makes it a home? I feel very transient in my life. I have half my life sitting in a storage unit in Denver, my cat lives in Seattle, and my skis and clothes live in Nome.  I have amazing friends in all these places, wonderful memories.  But none of them feels like home anymore.  What an interesting and unfamiliar feeling this is.  To be so scattered yet still feel somewhat grounded.  Maybe this bird just isn't ready to nest yet.  I wonder when that will happen?  I think I'm like one of a handful of my friends that doesn't own a home, isn't engaged, married, having babies, has babies.  I just work at the edge of nowhere, save for retirement, and travel where I wish, when I wish.  The grass is always greener right? Probably been fertilized with bullshit though.

Someone is enjoying his time on the deck in the sunshine

Kisses for mama!

Don't feel too bad for Bentley. This is his view over Lake Washington

Time to enjoy my last three days in Nome before my month at the Native health center in Anchorage.  I will continue to update!!!

Love to all my lovelies! 

If Pizza sizes were given in area not diameter, you'd see instantly that a 7 inch is less than half the size of a 10 inch pie - Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Hatchers Pass (Willow side)

Coming around the pass

Selfie with Hatchers in the background

Welcome back to my reality. Nome! It was a good week in Anchorage, did a little hot yoga, sat around in a tub tub for awhile, crashed a wedding (It was just like any other outdoor wedding! Just happened to have the Chugach mountain range as its backdrop), and took a road trip up over Hatchers Pass. T and I stopped at the "worlds BEST ice cream" on our little road trip... I'm not gonna lie.. def NOT the best. God I miss being able to just hop in the car and just leaving. Going away, taking in sights and sounds of new places, or even just different places.  I reminisce about all the drives back in Ohio to the barn and back, or when I would drive to Estes Park when I was in Boulder just to get away from normal.  You don't realize how much you miss these little things until it's not really possible to do it whenever you wish.  Granted I can take my Dirtrude out and just haul-ass down the beach... but man it's not supposed to stop raining here until maybe Tuesday... and of course I will be working. Ha! Nomed.

Stormy beach days

I just had three days of work and now I am hanging out on the couch trying to fend off some illness that some sick individual decided to share with me. GROSS.

It's looking like I will be heading to Anchorage for training for a month at the end of August.  I will be starting nights there and continue with night shift when I get back to Nome sometime at the end of September.   I am pretty excited about going to nights, different vibe, different speed, different clientele. Hopefully I won't have to see all the people that just waste away taxpayers dollars by coming to the ER for things like "my child has had a cough for the last 6 hours" or "I need an STD check".... uuuggggghhhhhh enough to drive you CRAZY!   Instead I will probably end up babysitting drunk people... Guess I'm just picking my poison.

So 4 months into my 24 month stint, 30 posts, and roughly 2500 views from people all over the country and the world; this blogging stuff isn't so bad.

Not a whole lot more to say. Just ready for some more tea and couch time (read as nap time). Maybe some wine time too. Cheers to health!

Here are a few random pictures that I don't know where to put:

If you look close enough that sign says: USSR Big Diomede Way to keep things current Nome... 

A horrible picture of my AMAZING print that I picked up in Chitina, AK during my last road trip

Clouds and sunshine from the plane back to Nome

Gnome from Nome! Hand carved walrus ivory statue
made for me. I asked for a garden gnome with an
Eskimo face and a harpoon :)

So long lovelies!

Buy the ticket, take the ride. - Hunter S. Thompson

It's been awhile since I talked about what I have seen come through the doors of the hospital.  I do this because I forget about a lot of stuff because so much comes through the door, and also to help protect the privacy of those that seek help in our hospital.  In the last few months we have had a group of kiddos ranging in age from 1 year to 9 years old that all came in for STD screens.  I don't think I need to be any more specific about what I am implying in this.  How horrible. How tragic. How these people, these innocent people, are completely corrupted. By people that are trusted by them or family members.  I keep getting asked to get my SART (Sexual assault and response team) training.  I just don't think I would be able to stomach this.  This stuff happens all the time, and I guess I know that it does but it doesn't mean I want to be confronted with it, go to work anticipating it, knowing that I am going to be a part of a child/parents/grown persons worst nightmare.  I suppose the flip side is that I would also be the person that helps to start the forward progress of realizing the problem, empowering the family and the people affected and helping to gather the resources to push forward.  I just think that my emotions would get the better of me.

On another note that is completely unrelated I have seen what it looks like when a police officer introduces a noncompliant individual to the ground and a humerus gets broken. Although this person probably had it coming. No crazy new high BRAC's to report.  Just the run of the mill .300 and the like... which would kill basically most but the professionals that I see.  I was actually challenged by one person. I was told that I wouldn't be able to beat them.. I agreed and said I would die before they got drunk. This person actually thought it was funny.  Probably is.  This was also the individual who told me that in the last 6 hours, before coming to the hospital to sober up before returning to their home town no less... your tax payer dollars HARD at work, had drank two fifths of R&R whiskey (this is by far the NASTIEST substance I feel one can legally purchase currently).  They kept drinking cause they "just weren't getting drunk.".  How lucky am I to not know this beast called addiction? I know so many struggle with it daily, and I think they are some of the strongest people I know when they stay the straight, and on the wagon.  I hope to never know this struggle personally. Nor do I ever hope to meet one of these patients in a bar in a drinking contest.

Funny story for all you!  Moms and dads and soon to be moms and dads... did you know a one month old can literally (and I do mean LITERALLY) shit 10 feet across a room?!?!?!??! My mind was 100% blown by this fact.  Now I have been shat on by the elderly, a grown person with full control of their bowels and a newborn.... Yes we laughed hysterically as the mother was standing there in pure horror as the crap dripped down the wall, from the trash can, and down my arm.  Why do I want kids again?   We had a brat child come through who needed to have earring backs removed because they were swallowed into the back of her ears (Dear Mom, Thank you for being a grown up and telling me to turn my earrings and rubbing them with alcohol every night so this never happened....) The family gave this child (under the age of 8) a choice in the matter... this is maddening. I am starting to really hate grown ups and their inability to be a parent.  Like this is a CHILD. They do not get opinions. Sorry.  Welcome to what is called "Parenthood".  This was a child pointing to our doctors and nurses screaming "I don't trust you!", "Stranger danger!" and other such things... one thinks... what on earth is your home life like that you hear these things on a regular enough basis to say them to adults?  Best part... our doc that night was like "...listen little one, someone is going to get hurt if you don't cooperate with what is going on." and this kid was all "You aren't the boss of me.. only my mom is"... Congrats parents of the year. Great job of raising a COMPLETELY entitled monster.  Yes the earring backs were removed... yes it took 3 of us to hold this kid down to do it; But alas, the parent stepped up and was a parent.

In other news Bentley is doing great, it's sounding like my cat lady status may increase by one when Bentley comes up after spending so much time with so many playmates.  Sigh. I have no hope of not being a cat lady at this point.  Perhaps the new goal is just not to be a cat hoarder. No cats will be found dead under a mattress! I can do this!

Supervisors meeting. 

I am currently in Anchorage enjoying 80 degrees and sunshine. T is building a deck and I am a rock solid supervisor. Wine in hand, whilst sitting in the hot tub.... probably makes me one of the worst supervisors ever... but I digress. I have been studying for my CEN (Certified Emergency Nurse) certification which I am taking in October, and have been collecting things for my new home (Which won't be mine until sometime in September). T and I are going to a wedding Monday so tomorrow we are going to hit up Costco for the village run. Lots of frozen chicken breasts, milk, and gifts to those in my little town that have asked me to bring things back for them.

T just asked me about my grandpa. 5 years and 14 days ago.  Forever in my heart.  In Anchorage and in Nome I think about him a lot as the planes fly by overhead. I know that he would be smiling. The same way he did when we went to Seattle together to find me a place to live.  Watching his face as the sea planes landed in Lake Union.  Memories are incredibly powerful.  If it weren't for the passing of this incredible individual and the passing of my incredible grandmother, who affirms that I have indeed made the right choice, I wouldn't have made the career path change or the this move to the edge of nowhere. But you know what? I know both of them are looking down on me from up above and smiling.  What a crazy granddaughter. What an incredible adventure. Enjoy everything about life. You get one shot. Live it. Love it. Regret nothing.

Until later my lovelies!

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win. - Stephen King

Playing in the fireweed. Once all the flowers die on the stem summer is over

Okay since the last post a lot has happened! Lots of fun times, good friends, and adventures.  However nothing too terribly exciting has been happening in the ER. Lots of run of the mill heart attacks, possible strokes, phantom abdominal pain, etc.  We have been seeing some pretty cool hand lacerations from gold miners and contractors that are laying the fiber optic cable up the west coast of Alaska (OMG Perhaps one day soon we will have enough bandwidth for video chatting!).  So needless to say we have been doing lots of tetanus boosters! Ohhh and I learned that rabies vaccine/treatment is crazy! We don't do needles in the stomach anymore, but we are going to inject you with basically 11-15ml of serum... that's roughly 2-3ml in each major muscle group.  YOUCH!  I was punched in the face by an unruly 3 year old and told the mother she could wash her kids head wounds out (they weren't super bad, 3 stitches and it was done... only took 3 people to hold this kid down).  We had a kiddo with a finger that was gonna lose the tip. I don't know the full story on that one, but the tip of his finger was most certainly coal black.

I have also heard a vicious rumor that Verizon has put up a bunch of towers all across the state and that coming soon, hopefully October, they will flip the switch and perhaps Nome will stop owning my texts, calls and voicemails... maybe ;)

Stopped here for lunch on the way to our campsite

I noticed while I was away in Anchorage so much the past few weeks that I really do start to  miss certain aspects of this little town I call home.  I do rather enjoy almost always knowing someone wherever I go. The post office, the gym, grocery store, a local restaurant, walking down the street. I also really miss riding around on my 4-wheeler (who just turned 2000 miles old today!), when I get back I just don't feel home until I take my machine for a little ride (my god... what is happening to me?) My first trip to Anchorage was more of a grocery and errand run for some friends and myself and to hang out with T.  I flew back to Nome to work 3 days and left on the late flight out on 4th and T took me on a camping adventure.

Bottom of the mill looking up

The first night we stayed outside of a little town called Chitina, and the second and third night we stayed in a little town called McCarthy.  This state has some pretty incredible history to it.  We visited the Kennicott copper mine which is 5 miles outside of McCarthy.  To think that they built and started mining before they even got the train tracks built... in the early 1900's! We are a wussy group these days that's for sure (and yes I am most certainly in the wussy group!).  The pictures don't do it nearly any justice.  The mountains hid from me behind low clouds.  I will have to go back and hope for a clear sunny day to see the 16,000-18,000ft peaks that dapple the skyline.  Truly incredible.

Kennicott Copper Mill

Top of the mill

Our first night in McCarthy we took the mini bike (my first mini bike adventure!) into town (they don't allow tourists to drive their cars in, residents pay to use a car bridge into town, but ATVs and motorcycles/dirt bikes are allowed on the pedestrian bridge).  T and I went to a bar and had a drink and ran into some crazy Texans also enjoying an adult beverage.  We told them we took a little ride across the bridge into town on the mini bike together and they just said "You Alaskans are different".  Hahaha I was called an Alaskan... and you know what? we are pretty different.

Me and the mini bike!

Later the next day the mini bike and I got into a fight. I lost. My left lower leg took the impact of the crank case on top of a rock.  Then I must have hit the peg on the other leg during the fall because I looked like a domestic abuse victim.  For the record the really nasty bruise didn't hurt at all, and the one that looks like nothing was horribly painful. About a week out and the blood from the left leg is all pooling at my ankle and makes me look super tough. Silver linings.  I haven't had so much fun on a trip in a long time! I hope to come back sooner than later.

Root Glacier with a very hidden Mt Blackburn (16,391ft)

The night after the fall.

All the blood pooling at my ankle a week later

When a foot peg meets your calf

I got back a few days ago, worked a few days and today went out with 7 others from the ER on a long 4-wheeler trip to a fish camp that is about 15 miles down the west beach from Nome.  We took the long way in from the road and drove over the tundra and through tons of mud.  We had a pretty great time.

Creek crossing on the way to the beach from the tundra

Looking down on the tundra

The last few days have been weird for me. A lot of my past has caught me off guard and I hate when my weaknesses come rushing in with no brakes.  Letting the past interfere with the current is so ridiculous.  I know I am human, and I know that so many people have the same insecurities that I have.  I do have my head on pretty straight sometimes, and I am in a pretty good spot in life. Then a single event just brings me back to spots in my life that have tested me, and hurt me to my core, times that have clipped my wings and made me crawl.  I feel like I get so overwhelmed and I over commit to re-righting the boat that in my head has started to rock.  If you know me you know that I have an incredible ability to make mountains out of molehills sometimes and then I try to dig my way out.  Then I spin spin spin and oh goodness it just gets worse and worse.  Tonight after a lovely dinner at one of the doctors houses Emily and I took a very long walk down the beach and I was brought back to center when she told me that "...everyone thinks and feels a lot of the things that you do. You just come out with it, while most people just hold it in"  Perhaps that is why I have added this little section in this post.  Seems inner demons are always lurking and just wait until a little weakness shows and then they run rampant. I must rein these things in.  It's absurd.

Getting stuck in mud pits! Great day!

Cliffs on the side of trail

Sledge Island floating on the horizon

No matter how far you run you will always find yourself wherever you land.  You would think I would have learned this lesson by now.  Maybe this time...

The tame Bering Sea.

I am thankful for friends at the edge of the world, the new place I will be calling my home in September at some point, warm sunny days that I don't actually work on, friends that don't let my inner demons get in the way, matte finished nail polish.

Love to you all!