Hello everyone! How have you been? Since we last spoke I moved into my new house! I have had visitors! I have worked more than I have cared to. I have laughed and I have cried. So basically... I've just been living life.
We've had some pretty serious wildfires down on the Kenai Peninsula. That was back in late May. Made for some incredible sunsets, interesting breathing problems, and coming out of work to find a light dusting of ash on the car.... umm what? New experiences for sure. But Anchorage was never in any trouble of catching fire. But it was amazing to watch how the smoke would change directions. The first night the winds changed and the whole hospital smelled like a campfire.
I finally closed on my house. I am a homeowner. I love my little house. It has a huge lilac bush that drapes over the front entryway, and a pretty hedge (that has now been trimmed) that shadows the front. Two big birch trees in the front yard too. No thanks to the small children that run amok in this neighborhood. To say I have been waging a small war is an understatement. But I think I have found the key.. they stay off my property, I don't yell at them, drag them to their homes and then yell at them again in front of their parents for being on my trailer... that's on my driveway..... and leaving their jackets and bikes and trash in my yard. They don't do any of those things anymore because I am the mean lady. Works for me. But I also ply them with cookies and brownies sporadically as a thank you for respecting my space and for being quiet around my house. It's a give and take. and I think we have a good system worked out now. My neighbors are jealous that the kids are scared of me and not them. Hahaha well... you just have to be mean show your teeth, bark real loud. and be THAT neighbor. I have no problem being THAT neighbor. If you won't be a parent to your children, they WILL respect my property; and I WILL be a parent to them, setting a hard line of what is okay and not okay.
I've been pretty busy picking up all of these extra shifts as everyone has weddings and plans to visit family and friends out of state, or having them visit in state. Lots of overtime to be had. I am learning very quickly that when one gets greedy one loses their mind. Quite literally. There is a very fine balance between making it rain and being so exhausted that no one wants to hang out with you because the wrong color at a traffic light can bring you to an epic meltdown because the brain just can't handle anything at all. Yeah I've done that. It's not pretty. In fact I may have done it on more than one occasion. Ugh. No one said I was a fast learner. No more extra shifts for a month. Time to relax and just take in what this state has to offer, and get the weeds pulled, go 4-wheeling, enjoy myself. Granted you can't spend money if you are too tired to do so. It's such a double edged sword.
Harry from Respiratory Therapy says I should just intubate and sedate. I may do it the other way around if I like the person though. I have been getting better at my job, taking on patients that are more critical, and feeling more confident in my work. Feeling like I made the right decision to become a nurse of the emergency type. That I am an actual team player. That when someone is needed in the absolute worst shitstorm one could imagine.. I can be counted on to help. I love that i feel the exact same way about my teammates that I work with. We are becoming a very cohesive group, we help eachother out without question, without hesitation, without keeping score. When someone is down there is someone there to pick up what is left behind. A trauma comes in and who ever takes that patient the other nurses absorb that nurses patients care until that nurse is available again. What an incredible feeling. To never feel alone at work. To know the resources are there. And they won't turn their back on you. They will answer questions. No matter how trivial, benign, amateur, or otherwise that they are. It's almost like coming into a marriage. for better or worse, we have to have each others backs or everyone will lose.
So on the rare occasion that I am able to get out and about I run to the top of things! This is a view from the top of Flat Top, which is just outside of Anchorage.
I've been on a some dates. I'm finding that I just love broken souls. Ugh. Hurt souls. Souls that have so much potential. That are hurt and broken because others have been unkind to them. Like others have been unkind to me. Expectations are indeed the root of most heartache. I know that I shouldn't like these types. But it's what I'm drawn to. Emotionally unavailable, unable to use words to say what is going on. Out of my entire life this; finding a companion, is the thing I crave most. I chase relentlessly for. A buddy that will hike with me, ride wheelers and snowmachines with, someone that will go on 2 hour car rides just to get lunch in a cool spot, someone that will travel with me. Let me be who I am, crazy bits and all. Someone that will just give in return to me what I give to them. My life is like a beautiful brand new black shiny sports car. It's fabulous in every way. Until you notice that one spot on the door where the people at the dealership missed during their hand wash. That glaring small patch of not shiny black paint. It's there, and it's hard to overlook once it's noticed. That's how I feel about it. You can all write your cliche comments about how everything will fall into place when it is meant to be, and that you can't rush these things, and all of the others that fall in line with those sentiments.
Oh look. Mom sent me craft bourbon and whiskey! Perfect to drown my sorrows in!
On much happier notes! Here are the pictures you have all been waiting for!
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| My living room! |
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| Dining room looking down the hallway |
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| My kitchen! DOUBLE OVEN!! |
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| View of my living room and kitchen from my dining room |
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| Another view into the kitchen |
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| Mom and I are happy to be out exploring!Not in the house! Hatcher's Pass! |
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| View from Hatchers |
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| View from the drive up |
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| Why the bunny ears?! hehehe |
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The view from the deck at Alyeska.
Tea in hand. Problem solving.
It's what we do best. |
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| Mom up at Crow Creek Trail head |
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The dirt road that leads back down the mountain. This state
just doesn't stop with the sheer beauty. |
Shortly after mom left my new skis came in the mail. No Steve this is not where they live. But you can see my awesome new skis and dining room table! And rug!!
The yard work is done. The blog has been updated. My 3rd weekend in a row off is coming to a close. Life is being put back into perspective. It's messy and chaotic and beautiful. Everything as it should be. One day I won't worry so much about finding a mate. but if i didn't fret about that.. what would I fret about? I suppose there are worse things. Until then, I'm living the dream. I have my cat, my job, awesome friends that help me when I'm down, family that is always there for me no matter what, and I'm here for myself. And I do what makes me happy. Because if I don't no one else will. I know only I can make myself truly happy. Cheers to that!
