(Part 1 of 4) It is not down in any map; true places never are. – Herman Melville

Here is a quick run through of the last... has it really been 10 months already?!?!?!  I will write a more in-depth commentary about what's been going on after I get these pictures up.  Well.. lets get started. First on deck... Bentley. Because everyone loves that sweet little guy!

I went berry picking... i swear we picked berries as we drank only
the finest of champagnes from a can

and the view whilst picking berries and drinking cans of wine was pretty spectacular. Hatcher Pass, AK

I went to Boulder! My favorite spot in the whole wide world

And I had brunch with some of my most favorite people in the whole wide world

This is a picture of the last time I will ever wear Rx glasses! 

I met my friend from Denver in Las Vegas for some sunshine and warmth!

We clean up nicely if I may say so myself

I saw huge turbines at the Hoover Dam!

I even worked a little bit. Every Tuesday night the dancers and drummers play in the hospital. I am so blessed to work in such a cool hospital. You can hear the drums resonating throughout the first floor when they play. 

I went home to Ohio. This is Mt Rainier when I flew through Seattle. 

Mom and I went on tour of a local distillery. #OYO

That time that grandma asked for a selfie. 

big bro, mom and me

Beautiful Columbus, Ohio 

Davis and I got ice cream!

I went back to work. We dubbed it 80s night.

Bentley letting me know how much he loves his sun patch

I made a lot of beef stew

I visited Nome. This is the sun rising over the ocean at noon.

I took care of a stinky patient and was happy about it

And we had a visitor in the ER. He went home with one of our clerks. Crafty cat indeed!

I flew to Seattle for some much needed city time.

the market was getting ready for Christmas.

Bentley had to go to the vet for an overnight. He's much better now, but he wouldn't stop throwing up. Had his mama very distressed and worried. He's an older cat now. a spry 14 years. This September we will have spent 13 years of our lives together. 

Lovely ladies celebrating the longest and darkest night of the year. Toasting to longer days ahead. Happy winter solstice!

True friends stab you in the front - Oscar Wilde

Lots of thoughts and musings, adventures and work.  Sounds like a normal spot for me in life!

I recently took a lunch trip up to Talkeetna with my old roommate Megan who I used to live with up in Nome and when I first moved down to Anchorage. Megan is also a native of Ohio! So many things in common this girl and I have. The drive to Talkeetna is about 2.5 hours. We drove up had lunch watched the tourists scurry about and then drove 2.5 hours back.  Who does that? We do. The size of Alaska is pretty mind blowing, even living here it's just madness how far one will drive for a day trip or adventure. We hadn't seen each other in awhile so the girl chat and gossip and life musings we had made the drive, both ways, fly by.  I have some pretty amazing friends, I might not see them daily, weekly, monthly... sometimes not even yearly! but I know that if I pick up the phone and call them they will answer, and be there to help me. Just as I would answer the call for them, and do whatever I could to help them.  Those are the best of friends I think that one can have. The true friends that have seen the absolute best in you, the happiest that you can be, watch and encourage your soul to shine as bright as it can. But they have also seen the darkest side of you, have held you while cry about things that may not matter in 10 minutes or things that are completely life changing; and when they can't be there they do things to show that they are with you in spirit. Text messages with inspirational quotes, or sending a stuffed orange cat in a green t-shirt overnight to be in their place. I am so incredibly blessed.

Artwork over the mainstage at Salmonstock!

Salmonstock came to the little town of Ninilchik last weekend so I packed myself up and headed to a hippie music festival.  I think it's very safe to say that I am not a "festival" person.  After sleeping on the floor of a barn in my tent, my neck was sore, my cough was terrible, I was freezing.  I like flush toilets, or maybe i just don't like port-a-potties..., and access to clean water.  Yeah I'm a bit of a princess I suppose. But hey if no one else is going to treat me like one as may as well treat myself like one!

So I met up with a new work friend (Buffie) and her husband, and an old nursing school friend (Ali) who just got a job in Anchorage at a different hospital.  Pretty cool to meld two people from different spots of life into one.  Buffie took me and Ali in and I only had to spend one night on the cold hard ground. The second night at salmonstock we spent in a trailer. Buffie's son let us have his spot in the trailer and slept with mom and dad. Ali and I slept head to toe in a space smaller than a twin bed... Hahaha SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE GROUND! We drank wine and watched an incredible sunset. Scaled a bluff down to the beach.  Last weekend is what makes friendships so sweet. Building new, reinforcing old. brilliant.

Sunset over Mt Redoubt... total stunner

The bluff we scaled to the beach
was pretty high up, Ali is the shadow
down there

And a Bentley picture for good measure!

Life I think is a series of events that happen. And I think a lot of my sadness and heartache does come from when these events don't line up in time the way I want them to. I was talking to a good friend about this. Enlightened by the thought of logistics. Logistics are the key to anything that's supposed to be.  How many wonderful individuals that have had a walk on part in my life, that just kind of faded away. Not that I wanted them to, but life happens and lives don't line up anymore and away they go. This isn't just with  boyfriends.  I can think of numerous girlfriends that have come and gone in my life over the last decade. Some that I would have considered to be my best of friends that I no longer speak to. Life has just taken our lines and has directed them left and right, and maybe they will meet again, but maybe they won't. As always waiting to see what the universe sends my way is a test of the virtue I lack least... patience.   One day everything might line up.  Until then I'll enjoy the lines i'm connected to right now.  

Today a hot cup of tea, and the hum of my cat is what is making me smile. And the thought that in 5 nights I will have 5 nights off. And I will accomplish things that grownups need to do. Like buy a bike. More adventures to come!

With love!

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely. - Erma Bombeck

Hello everyone! How have you been?  Since we last spoke I moved into my new house! I have had visitors! I have worked more than I have cared to. I have laughed and I have cried. So basically... I've just been living life.

We've had some pretty serious wildfires down on the Kenai Peninsula.  That was back in late May. Made for some incredible sunsets, interesting breathing problems, and coming out of work to find a light dusting of ash on the car.... umm what?  New experiences for sure. But Anchorage was never in any trouble of catching fire. But it was amazing to watch how the smoke would change directions. The first night the winds changed and the whole hospital smelled like a campfire.

 I finally closed on my house. I am a homeowner. I love my little house. It has a huge lilac bush that drapes over the front entryway, and a pretty hedge (that has now been trimmed) that shadows the front. Two big birch trees in the front yard too.  No thanks to the small children that run amok in this neighborhood.  To say I have been waging a small war is an understatement. But I think I have found the key.. they stay off my property, I don't yell at them, drag them to their homes and then yell at them again in front of their parents for being on my trailer... that's on my driveway..... and leaving their jackets and bikes and trash in my yard.  They don't do any of those things anymore because I am the mean lady. Works for me. But I also ply them with cookies and brownies sporadically as a thank you for respecting my space and for being quiet around my house. It's a give and take. and I think we have a good system worked out now. My neighbors are jealous that the kids are scared of me and not them. Hahaha well... you just have to be mean show your teeth, bark real loud. and be THAT neighbor.  I have no problem being THAT neighbor. If you won't be a parent to your children, they WILL respect my property; and I WILL be a parent to them, setting a hard line of what is okay and not okay.

I've been pretty busy picking up all of these extra shifts as everyone has weddings and plans to visit family and friends out of state, or having them visit in state. Lots of overtime to be had.  I am learning very quickly that when one gets greedy one loses their mind. Quite literally.  There is a very fine balance between making it rain and being so exhausted that no one wants to hang out with you because the wrong color at a traffic light can bring you to an epic meltdown because the brain just can't handle anything at all.  Yeah I've done that. It's not pretty. In fact I may have done it on more than one occasion. Ugh. No one said I was a fast learner. No more extra shifts for a month. Time to relax and just take in what this state has to offer, and get the weeds pulled, go 4-wheeling, enjoy myself. Granted you can't spend money if you are too tired to do so. It's such a double edged sword.

Harry from Respiratory Therapy says I should just intubate and sedate. I may do it the other way around if I like the person though. I have been getting better at my job, taking on patients that are more critical, and feeling more confident in my work. Feeling like I made the right decision to become a nurse of the emergency type. That I am an actual team player. That when someone is needed in the absolute worst shitstorm one could imagine.. I can be counted on to help.  I love that i feel the exact same way about my teammates that I work with. We are becoming a very cohesive group, we help eachother out without question, without hesitation, without keeping score. When someone is down there is someone there to pick up what is left behind. A trauma comes in and who ever takes that patient the other nurses absorb that nurses patients care until that nurse is available again. What an incredible feeling. To never feel alone at work. To know the resources are there. And they won't turn their back on you. They will answer questions. No matter how trivial, benign, amateur, or otherwise that they are. It's almost like coming into a marriage. for better or worse, we have to have each others backs or everyone will lose.

So on the rare occasion that I am able to get out and about I run to the top of things! This is a view from the top of Flat Top, which is just outside of Anchorage.

I've been on a some dates. I'm finding that I just love broken souls. Ugh. Hurt souls. Souls that have so much potential. That are hurt and broken because others have been unkind to them. Like others have been unkind to me. Expectations are indeed the root of most heartache. I know that I shouldn't like these types. But it's what I'm drawn to. Emotionally unavailable, unable to use words to say what is going on. Out of my entire life this; finding a companion, is the thing I crave most. I chase relentlessly for.  A buddy that will hike with me, ride wheelers and snowmachines with, someone that will go on 2 hour car rides just to get lunch in a cool spot, someone that will travel with me. Let me be who I am, crazy bits and all. Someone that will just give in return to me what I give to them.   My life is like a beautiful brand new black shiny sports car. It's fabulous in every way. Until you notice that one spot on the door where the people at the dealership missed during their hand wash. That glaring small patch of not shiny black paint. It's there, and it's hard to overlook once it's noticed.  That's how I feel about it. You can all write your cliche comments about how everything will fall into place when it is meant to be, and that you can't rush these things, and all of the others that fall in line with those sentiments.

Oh look. Mom sent me craft bourbon and whiskey!  Perfect to drown my sorrows in!

On much happier notes! Here are the pictures you have all been waiting for!

My living room!

Dining room looking down the hallway

My kitchen! DOUBLE OVEN!!

View of my living room and kitchen from my dining room

Another view into the kitchen

Mom and I are happy to be out exploring!Not in the house! Hatcher's Pass!

View from Hatchers

View from the drive up

Why the bunny ears?! hehehe

The view from the deck at Alyeska.
Tea in hand. Problem solving.
It's what we do best.

Mom up at Crow Creek Trail head

The dirt road that leads back down the mountain. This state
just doesn't stop with the sheer beauty.

Shortly after mom left my new skis came in the mail. No Steve this is not where they live. But you can see my awesome new skis and dining room table! And rug!!

The yard work is done. The blog has been updated. My 3rd weekend in a row off is coming to a close. Life is being put back into perspective. It's messy and chaotic and beautiful. Everything as it should be. One day I won't worry so much about finding a mate. but if i didn't fret about that.. what would I fret about? I suppose there are worse things.  Until then, I'm living the dream. I have my cat, my job, awesome friends that help me when I'm down, family that is always there for me no matter what, and I'm here for myself. And I do what makes me happy. Because if I don't no one else will. I know only I can make myself truly happy.  Cheers to that!